Things have been very quiet from the Twain faction of CVC of late, what with stupid amounts of real work to attend to. Still there are a couple of things worth noting.
* The secret plan to put together a live version of The All New Lucky Boys is progressing slowly with the agreement of the bumble bee jumpered Mr Kipling to come on board and play bass. Attempts to draw Jon out of the attic/pub/toilet and join us for rehearsals and thence live on stage have all been fruitless. Not a pineapple, not an apple. Not even a dirty berry. This saddens us, but still we plough on. We have a set list. We have a band. We've not all been in the same room holding our instruments at the same time, but that will happen, I'm sure.
* I've just finished repurposing an old Windows machine expressly for music production. It has a dedicated four input mixer and is running FL Studio 7, Adobe Audition, Reason LE, Melodyne and Jet Set Willy on a Spectrum emulator. Wheee! We must perform a Quirkafleeg!
* With the computerstudioatron now finished, I should be able to record some tracks for the covers CD compo - as soon as time permits. Time is a bitch though. Time has me tied to a chair with a hessian sack over my head. However, thanks to Bias Sound Soap 2.0, I have an old track ready to go! Will upload it this weekend. It's an ancient cover version of Gibs choon "Strong Bobby".
* Jon J. Ugulation handed me a grubby CD full of film related Radio Bingo t'other day. When I'm feeling sane I'll give it a listen and digitise tracks for the movie compo.
Twainy, over and out. Way out.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Henry's Smoking Column - Pre-historic smoking
My current research has revealed that smoking was common through a significant chunk of pre-history.
It was first done by dragonfly-like insects in the early Palaeozoic era as a form of extreme cannibalism. As far as I can make out from the limited texts available, the central tenet of their belief system held that inhaling the 'soul smoke' of rival clans caused 'great joy and upliftment to the skies.' Gradually, the practice came to be seen as barbarous and was sold off to the now extinct Malanga fly who developed it to a fine art, using beautifully crafted obsidian pipes in convoluted rituals. They concentrated wholly on smoking members of new species with particularly desirable character traits in the belief that they would aquire more legs or a liking for sprouts, or whatever.
They seem to have had some measure of success: the dominant theory about the eventual fate of the Malanga (one I made up all by myself) is that they evolved into 'mind bees' that live in your head and become terribly agitated the morning after you have a night on the tiles, when they cause tinnitus.
It was first done by dragonfly-like insects in the early Palaeozoic era as a form of extreme cannibalism. As far as I can make out from the limited texts available, the central tenet of their belief system held that inhaling the 'soul smoke' of rival clans caused 'great joy and upliftment to the skies.' Gradually, the practice came to be seen as barbarous and was sold off to the now extinct Malanga fly who developed it to a fine art, using beautifully crafted obsidian pipes in convoluted rituals. They concentrated wholly on smoking members of new species with particularly desirable character traits in the belief that they would aquire more legs or a liking for sprouts, or whatever.
They seem to have had some measure of success: the dominant theory about the eventual fate of the Malanga (one I made up all by myself) is that they evolved into 'mind bees' that live in your head and become terribly agitated the morning after you have a night on the tiles, when they cause tinnitus.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Colne Valley Chaos Covers
Just to get everyone up to speed on the Covers Project.
We now have 7 tracks:
Satan's Willy - GWF Medley I
Rabbit Clutch - Banana Tig (GWF)
Kipling - Adventures (Gibs)
Kipling - GWF Medley II
0=2 - Black Pudding / World Without Mirrors (Rabbit Clutch)
0=2 - Spectres in the Wind (ETR)
Fog - Meh (Karl Karcass)
They are not all uploaded yet but will be very soon
update - all now uploaded
ALSO - kips has done 2 tracks for the potential comp
Colne Valley Chaos at the Movies:
Satan's Willy - Evil Dead II
Kipling - EraserHead
We now have 7 tracks:
Satan's Willy - GWF Medley I
Rabbit Clutch - Banana Tig (GWF)
Kipling - Adventures (Gibs)
Kipling - GWF Medley II
0=2 - Black Pudding / World Without Mirrors (Rabbit Clutch)
0=2 - Spectres in the Wind (ETR)
Fog - Meh (Karl Karcass)
They are not all uploaded yet but will be very soon
update - all now uploaded
ALSO - kips has done 2 tracks for the potential comp
Colne Valley Chaos at the Movies:
Satan's Willy - Evil Dead II
Kipling - EraserHead
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Telescopes 2007
0=2 has gone and dun a new version of the Gibs classic Telscopes
Telescopes 2007
now he's gone and dun a version of the very first Gibs track
Dogs in the Study - Blanker Mix 2007
Telescopes 2007
now he's gone and dun a version of the very first Gibs track
Dogs in the Study - Blanker Mix 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Les & Shirley
It's been a bit quiet on the blog lately - so hears a little bit of classic fun to keep you going!
Monday, April 02, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Crazy Sonix!
Howdy - I just did a massive update of audio stuff on the secret cavern and thought a couple of 'em may be of interest to certain chaosheads.
Side 1
Other ones that might interest you include a luvly version of The Pied Piper read by Dear Larry Olivier which contains some really nice music of a flutey kind of nature. Also relive the future with the Missile Command read along - and if you can understand it please provide a translation for me.
For Example take this strangeling - Around the World with Sooty - I bet this was Frank Sidebottom's favourite record as a kid - have a listen and and see for yourself:
Side 1
Other ones that might interest you include a luvly version of The Pied Piper read by Dear Larry Olivier which contains some really nice music of a flutey kind of nature. Also relive the future with the Missile Command read along - and if you can understand it please provide a translation for me.Saturday, March 17, 2007
Twain on MySpace
My last MySpace page was inexplicably banned. I don't know why. That's what "inexplicably" means. Anyroad, I've given it time to calm down and I'm back on there. Hurrah! The new page is mainly for my writing projects BUT I'll also be using it to launch some CVC related stuff too - like the forthcoming Octafish video for "Spacehopper". It's only been up two days though, so is looking a bit sad so far.
If you are a MySpace monkey too, please friend me. We can start a zoo! Or, more accurately, a small primate enclosure...
Go HERE and click "Be My Stalker".
Do it now, or I'll be forced to start accepting friend invitations from 14 year old Essex rappers.
If you are a MySpace monkey too, please friend me. We can start a zoo! Or, more accurately, a small primate enclosure...
Go HERE and click "Be My Stalker".
Do it now, or I'll be forced to start accepting friend invitations from 14 year old Essex rappers.
Friday, March 16, 2007
If Giblets and Cheese were X-rated...
...They would probably do stuff a bit like this
But they aren't and they don't.
But they aren't and they don't.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Photomania
Oh god the memories!
Here's a trio of classic pix from back in the day that Clemmy just sent me!
Here's a trio of classic pix from back in the day that Clemmy just sent me!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Secret Cavern getting a little less Secret...
My site The Secret Cavern is getting a bit more noticed these days - check out this nice feature from SFFaudio
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Colne Valley Band of Yesteryear
Kips came round to my house the other day sweatily clutching a pile of old photos that he wanted me to scan for the site - here's one featuring two CVC stalwarts in their youth - check it!
Timperley Rocks!
Here's a little tribute to Frank who played in Huddersfield the other day - this clip is from a Manchester gig - quality is a bit low but this was the funniest part of the show for me!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Chaos Covers
For all the CVC posse... I've just created a folder on the shared webspace for the new Covers project. Please post all proposed covers here to avoid repeat tracks.
Addendum:
Just thought I'd post a note here to explain what Foggy's on about in the note above. The next CVC project is "CVC Covers". Like the Christmas project, anyone associated with CVC can take part. The idea is to cover a song or piece of music by another CVC group or musician. Only rules are:
No repeat tracks.
No remakes of your own tunes.
Any further suggestions, please direct your commentary to the comments section. I thank you!
Karl
Addendum:
Just thought I'd post a note here to explain what Foggy's on about in the note above. The next CVC project is "CVC Covers". Like the Christmas project, anyone associated with CVC can take part. The idea is to cover a song or piece of music by another CVC group or musician. Only rules are:
No repeat tracks.
No remakes of your own tunes.
Any further suggestions, please direct your commentary to the comments section. I thank you!
Karl
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Henry's Smoking Column - Duma, the lost weeks
Hello everyone, good to be back. For the last X weeks, I have smoked nothing but Duma, the Dutch shag that everyone brings back from trips abroad. It was a mite disorientating, to understate matters and I'm afraid I can't bring myself to write my notes up into a coherent whole. To give you some idea of the experience I had one of my (excellent) trained vervet monkeys transcribe the resulting dictaphone tapes:
[Tape begins]
So. here we are, a sunny, no, overcast Monday in March. Actually, what is the weather like? [shouts] Jo! Jocasta! What's the weather like, darling? [muffled sounds] Ok, light west south west, slight drizzle, 7 octas cover, cat refuses to go outside. Subject under test is 'Duma' rolling tobacco. I will be smoking rollies for a period of . . . well, lets see how long this batch of . . . 40 kilos lasts.
Jesus! It takes so damn long to roll one of these things I'll die of . . . Ah, that's better [blows smoke]. Hmm. Its been a while since I smoked Duma. Maybe I'll have to cancel that sub-contract and move rollie testing back in-house. Damn east Europeans get far too much work from me as it is. So. First impressions. Well, the tar content is good and high, yes I can feel the stickiness. Hmm, good stickiness. Yes, damn fine. A tick in the stickiness box. Two, yes two ticks and a second stick. Aargh! I need someone to roll for me. [shouts] Bingo! Bingo, come here and roll fags for me! [door opens] Yes, I said roll. With those little filters. There on the floor. Faster, please. Good.
Tuesday. We got rid of those damn filters about half an hour into the test, yesterday and the improvement was, well . . . er, marginal? Is that the word? Anyway, good stickiness and the flavour, after . . . 26 hours and 37 minutes, is that of [masticating noises] of . . . somewhere between new car plastic and . . . that particular humus you pick out of a gutter. Hmm, yes not bad. A tick and perhaps a squiggle in the flavour box.
Thursday is it? Bing . . . Bing . . . Go! [mutters] Bingo. Bingo. [shouts] What the hell is this squiggle doing in my flavour box? I pacifically 'splained that no unauthorised . . . unauthorised . . . [muffled sounds] oh, I did did I? Well. So there.
Day, er day 3, no, 5. Whatever, is 'feelings' day. Hey, Bingo - this 'feelings' box is huge. That's not right, is it? I love you. Yes, the feelings I have after [mumble] days of smoking . . . this stuff is of tenaciousness. Like I was listening to 'Trout Mask Replica' and wouldn't switch it off until I got to . . . let's say 'Sugar 'n spikes' even though my, er, buttocks had cramp, or something. Do I know you? [tape runs for 6 minutes 25 seconds with scraping noises]
Sunday. No, Tuesday. I . . . I can't, er . . . What? More smoke. 'Marry, sir . . . It makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him and disheartens him; makes him stand to and not stand to. . .' [incoherent mumbling] [tape runs for 47 minutes 12 seconds with nothing but scuffling and distant yowls]
Angström!
[Tape ends]
And I'm afraid that's all. I hope you can pick some gems out of that swill and if not, then swill out of the gems. You'll be glad to know I'm back on the straights.
[Tape begins]
So. here we are, a sunny, no, overcast Monday in March. Actually, what is the weather like? [shouts] Jo! Jocasta! What's the weather like, darling? [muffled sounds] Ok, light west south west, slight drizzle, 7 octas cover, cat refuses to go outside. Subject under test is 'Duma' rolling tobacco. I will be smoking rollies for a period of . . . well, lets see how long this batch of . . . 40 kilos lasts.
Jesus! It takes so damn long to roll one of these things I'll die of . . . Ah, that's better [blows smoke]. Hmm. Its been a while since I smoked Duma. Maybe I'll have to cancel that sub-contract and move rollie testing back in-house. Damn east Europeans get far too much work from me as it is. So. First impressions. Well, the tar content is good and high, yes I can feel the stickiness. Hmm, good stickiness. Yes, damn fine. A tick in the stickiness box. Two, yes two ticks and a second stick. Aargh! I need someone to roll for me. [shouts] Bingo! Bingo, come here and roll fags for me! [door opens] Yes, I said roll. With those little filters. There on the floor. Faster, please. Good.
Tuesday. We got rid of those damn filters about half an hour into the test, yesterday and the improvement was, well . . . er, marginal? Is that the word? Anyway, good stickiness and the flavour, after . . . 26 hours and 37 minutes, is that of [masticating noises] of . . . somewhere between new car plastic and . . . that particular humus you pick out of a gutter. Hmm, yes not bad. A tick and perhaps a squiggle in the flavour box.
Thursday is it? Bing . . . Bing . . . Go! [mutters] Bingo. Bingo. [shouts] What the hell is this squiggle doing in my flavour box? I pacifically 'splained that no unauthorised . . . unauthorised . . . [muffled sounds] oh, I did did I? Well. So there.
Day, er day 3, no, 5. Whatever, is 'feelings' day. Hey, Bingo - this 'feelings' box is huge. That's not right, is it? I love you. Yes, the feelings I have after [mumble] days of smoking . . . this stuff is of tenaciousness. Like I was listening to 'Trout Mask Replica' and wouldn't switch it off until I got to . . . let's say 'Sugar 'n spikes' even though my, er, buttocks had cramp, or something. Do I know you? [tape runs for 6 minutes 25 seconds with scraping noises]
Sunday. No, Tuesday. I . . . I can't, er . . . What? More smoke. 'Marry, sir . . . It makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him and disheartens him; makes him stand to and not stand to. . .' [incoherent mumbling] [tape runs for 47 minutes 12 seconds with nothing but scuffling and distant yowls]
Angström!
[Tape ends]
And I'm afraid that's all. I hope you can pick some gems out of that swill and if not, then swill out of the gems. You'll be glad to know I'm back on the straights.
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